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Shadow Wedding Basics

Step 1: Identify Your Shadow Material

In this first step, we provide a progression of exercises and subsequent discussions to help couples identify and clearly articulate their shadow material. This is where we invite your married couple with cast shadow on ground with bouquetshadows to come out and play! If you already have a relationship with your shadow, you’ve done a good portion of the groundwork for creating a ritual with this material. If your shadow is more of a mystery to you, this part of the journey may ask you to expose parts of yourself that you are accustomed to hiding.

Despite the gravity inherent in engaging with the shadow, Shadow Weddings are designed to be deeply compassionate, healing, transformative, and even fun. One way to achieve this is to ensure that both partners "own" their individual shadow material. The process and resulting ritual do not involve any form of character attacks, blaming, shaming, or criticism between partners. In order to protect the psyche, we are deeply committed to orienting couples to take full responsibility for their part in the relationship.


From a Shadow Wedding witness:

"I had the privilege of attending Jim and Jessica's personal Shadow Wedding. What I witnessed that night made a believer out of me.

"The Shadow Wedding process is not for every couple. If you truly want to know yourself and your partner, if you appreciate depth and authenticity in relationship, and if you are not afraid to face the truth in order to create lasting connection, Jim and Jessica's Shadow Wedding ritual may be for you."

Jim Matto-Shepard, PhD
Psychologist in private practice and co-creator of After The Honeymoon