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Shadow Wedding Basics

Step 2: Create Your Shadow Vows

After identifying shadow material in Step 1, we help couples craft their shadow vows. This will become the "meat and potatoes" of the ritual. Just like the vows in a regular wedding, partners face one another and speak their intention and commitment — only in this case, they are speaking on behalf of their shadow sides.

Perhaps one of the most memorable and healing aspects of the ritual is the closing of the vows, in which partners choose and commit to each other inclusive of all that has just been spoken. This is a big moment! Being accepted in this way can be a life-changing experience.

During our two-on-two meetings prior to the ritual, couples are given a generous amount of time to become familiar with the vow-creation process. You can get a sense of our shadow vow experience in our interview.


From a Shadow Wedding witness:

"I had the privilege of attending Jim and Jessica's personal Shadow Wedding. What I witnessed that night made a believer out of me.

"The Shadow Wedding process is not for every couple. If you truly want to know yourself and your partner, if you appreciate depth and authenticity in relationship, and if you are not afraid to face the truth in order to create lasting connection, Jim and Jessica's Shadow Wedding ritual may be for you."

Jim Matto-Shepard, PhD
Psychologist in private practice and co-creator of After The Honeymoon